Anatomy of a Coaching Session

Ever wondered what happens during a coaching session? Read on to find out!

The most commonly used model in coaching today is the four stage GROW model.

GROW is an acronym which stands for Goal, Reality, Options or Opportunities, and Wrap-up.

A typical session will last for approximately 50-60 minutes, and during that session, the coach leads the client through each of the four stages.

Stage 1: Goal Setting

In the initial stages of the coaching session the coach helps the client to get clear on a goal.

The goal might be large and require a number of coaching sessions, or it might be a small issue that can be addressed in a single session.

Developing a goal is actually a more difficult process than it sounds.

Have you ever asked someone to tell you what they want from their life or their business? Generally the response you get to this type of question is more about what they don't want!

If someone is looking for a new career, rather than focusing on what they want their new career to be, they will tell you what they don't like about the job they have now.

A business owner who comes to coaching to improve their business, will tell you what is it about their business that they don't want or what is not working.

The way I handle this is to let the client get it off their chest and then refocus them on what they do what by asking them a series of questions.

An opening question:

• What would you like to work on today?

Letting them vent:

• What is happening right now, that you don't want?

Then on to what they really want:

• What do you want instead?

Then I ask them to tell me 'specifically' what they want!

It can take a bit of time, but to be quite honest, unless you are both clear on what the client is trying to achieve, there is no point in continuing with the coaching.

Stage 2: A Reality Check

At this point in the coaching session, you (the client) have a clear idea of what the goal is, and you need to work out how you will know when you have achieved it.

This is achieved by asking the client to imagine that they had achieved their goal and asking another series of questions.

(Coaches ask a lot of questions - after all that is what you pay them to do!)

• What would it feel like if you had [the goal]?
• What would it look like?
• What would the people around you be saying to or about you?

And to finish this section off:

• If you had all that, what would the result be?

Sometimes during this part of the session, the client realizes that the goal they have selected is not really what they want, or that they can get what they want in another way.

For example, they may be focused on changing their job but answering the questions helps them to realize that it is a desire for more respect rather than the job itself that is really the issue. When this happens, it is a good thing! It enables them to focus on the real issue rather than to waste time chasing goals that won't actually achieve the desired result.

Finally I ask the client what their timeframe is. When do they want to have achieved their goal. Timeframes are very important, they must be realistic to have any value, but without one nothing will ever happen!

Stage 3: Investigating the Options

Brainstorming!

Well, guided brainstorming anyway. In this section of the coaching session the coach helps the client to generate as many options as possible to achieve the goal they have selected. Again with the questions!

• What is one way that you could do that?
• What is another way you could do that?

(Repeat until they can't think of any more)

At this point, the client is out of ideas and needs to look at the issue another way, so the coach moves onto a different type of question.

• If you knew what the answer was, what would it be?

(I know, sounds dumb, but it really works!)

• If [select an appropriate expert or role model] was advising you, what would they say?
• What have you tried before?
• If you tried that again, how would you do it better?
• If there was another way that you hadn't thought about yet, what would it be?

(Again, sounds dumb, but it works!)

By now the client should have half a dozen or so ideas. Some will just not work, and you both know it, but you really only need one that will!

At this point of the coaching session, I ask the client to pick the option that they think will provide them with the outcome they want, and get their agreement to focus on that option before we move on to the last stage.

Stage 4: Actions, Obstacles, and the Wrap-up

This stage of the coaching session is very important. The coach helps the client to look closely at the selected option and identify any obstacles or barriers that they are likely to encounter. Yes, you guessed it, more questions!

First we look at the possibility that their plans might hurt or damage someone else:

• Is there anyone who may be adversely affected by this option?

Followed by:

• Who, specifically?
• How, specifically, will they be affected?

At this point I ask the client to revisit their option and adjust it if necessary.

• Bearing that in mind, is there any way that you can improve the option to make it work any better?

Next we look at people who might be able to stop or hinder them:

• Is there anyone who may be adversely affect you being able to implement this option?

Followed by:

• Who, specifically?
• How, specifically, will they be affected?

At this point I ask the client to revisit their option and adjust it if necessary.

• Bearing that in mind, is there any way that you can improve the option to make it work any better?

Then we look at any other barriers that the client can bring to mind by asking:

• Are there any obstacles that you may encounter to that option?
• What specifically?
• How can you deal with that obstacle and accomplish what you want?
• How can you modify your idea and avoid that obstacle and still accomplish what you want?

Then I get them to investigate what they will need to accomplish their goal.

People:

• Is there anyone, anywhere, who may be able to help you?
• Anyone else?
• Any organisation?
• How can you locate them?
• How would you approach them to get their help?

Resources:

• What resources do you need?
• What resources do you have available now??
• How can you obtain the resources that you don’t yet have?

Money:

• What financial resources do you need?
• What financial resources do you have available now?
• How can you obtain the financial resources that you don’t yet have?

Information:

• What information do you have now?
• What other information would be useful to have?
• How could you obtain that further information?

And finally:

• What (else) can you do directly/indirectly to make it work?

Now we know what the client wants to do, we have identified and worked out how to counter the obstacles, and thought about the support they will need to do it. What's next?

We get specific about how is the client going to do it by addressing these questions:

• What is the first/second/third thing you would need to do?
• How would you do that?
• When will it need to be done?

Then I ask how committed the client is to their goal:

• Are you prepared to take responsibility to do those things?

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest:

a) How strong is your intention to complete these tasks?
b) How high is your enthusiasm for completing these tasks?
c) How strong is your commitment to completing these tasks?

One more set of questions and we are done:

• Is there anything (else) you need to enable you to do that?
• What specifically?
• How (else) can you obtain or arrange that?

At the end of the session, I congratulate the client. They have always made progress of one kind or another and need to be acknowledged for the effort they have put into the process.

Then before closing the coaching session I ask one more question:

• Is there any other way I can help you?

And the very first question I ask in the next coaching session is always

So, how did you go?

I hope you enjoyed reading about the anatomy of a coaching session. Although it works so much better with a coach to provide feedback and to give you a prompt or two when you are stuck, you also can use this format to coach yourself.

Your very own virtual coaching session - why not give it a go?

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